Family and Friends

Engaging and Letting Go: Holding the opposites of love and loss

On September 18, 2012 / Bereavement and End of Life, Family and Friends, Spirituality / 14 Comments

“I asked Liz to marry me,” my older son David says on the phone. I hear the drone of engine noise, so I know he’s driving home from a weekend trip. “What did she say?” I tease,

Better Than Your Grandma’s Marinara

On September 11, 2012 / Family and Friends, Health / 11 Comments

When my husband Vic and I got serious about healthy eating in 1967, his mom Virginia gave me a copy of Let’s Cook It Right by Adele Davis. Vic was not thrilled with bran molasses cookies and

Small Goodbyes: Opening the Heart to Loss and Love

On August 28, 2012 / Bereavement and End of Life, Family and Friends, My Land and Home / 9 Comments

Being alone was all right, as long as nobody came and left again. — Das Blauekleid (The Blue Dress) by Doris Doerrie, translated by Ellen Schmidt At 1:00 am, I look out my bedroom window and see

Creating Community with Pie: Inspired by “Making Piece” by Beth Howard

On August 21, 2012 / Bereavement and End of Life, Family and Friends, Health / 10 Comments

Pie is community glue, its very own language of love. “That blueberry looks just like the pie my grandma baked,” one grizzly old guy tells me at the Hector Fireman’s Fair. I grin and laugh and ask

Flowers for the Living, Flowers for the Dead

On July 31, 2012 / Bereavement and End of Life, Family and Friends, My Land and Home, Spirituality / 14 Comments

“Go ahead. Arrange and rearrange the stones on top of your beloved’s grave. Keep arranging those stones for as long as it hurts to do it, then stop just before you really want to. Put the

Loneliness and Solitude in Grief: A guest blog by Marty Tousley

On July 24, 2012 / Bereavement and End of Life, Family and Friends / 12 Comments

I recently discovered an outstanding website and blog titled Grief Healing by Marty Tousley, CNS-BC, FT, DCC. Marty has been a bereavement counselor at Phoenix, AZ’s Hospice of the Valley since 1996 and launched her website in

Why We Need Hospice Help with Bereavement and End of Life Issues

On July 3, 2012 / Bereavement and End of Life, Family and Friends / 4 Comments

In late October 1959, the illness began as a simple cold and quickly moved to kidney failure. Since Dad was sick for twelve of my fourteen years, I was used to this. His doctors often predicted the

The Crone of Cayuga Lake: Continuing Bonds with a Wild Teacher

On June 26, 2012 / Family and Friends, Health, My Land and Home, Nature / 6 Comments

In September 1968, Vic and I rented a barely winterized cottage on Cayuga Lake. The next spring, we splurged on a canoe. As we explored the lake, Vic paddled and steered from the stern, while I practiced

The Dalai Lama’s Templeton Prize

On June 19, 2012 / Bereavement and End of Life, Family and Friends, Spirituality / 8 Comments

In March 2012, a friend sent a link to a Huffington Post article: Dalai Lama Wins Templeton Prize For Work On Science, Religion. I flashed back to forgotten details of the weeks around my husband Vic’s death

Speeding to Strong Cancer Center

On June 12, 2012 / Bereavement and End of Life, Family and Friends, Health / 10 Comments

In 2007, a month after Vic’s stem cell transplant, he drives our Subaru west on the New York State Thruway. I’m in the passenger seat, watching his jaw muscle pop. “Let’s make a list,” I suggest. “I