706 Let everything happen to you Beauty and terror Just keep going No feeling is final ~ Rainer Maria Rilke, “Go to the Limits of Your Longing,” The Book of Hours: Love Poems to God, 1905 (trans.
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286 I wake up gently, yawn, and bury my head in warm blankets. “You should get up and meditate,” an inner voice suggests, ever so sweetly. She has many ideas, most beginning with you should…. I ignore
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303 I love the promise of eggs laid by songbirds in nesting boxes on my land. I should have learned by now that it’s foolish to get attached. Life is fragile and precarious, especially this cool wet
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162 “I need help,” I said. I was a mother pleading for her child. The deaf child in me felt isolated and abandoned. I struggled to hear friends or a phone call. Constant vertigo and a roar
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149 “Will you meditate with me?” he asks. I’d said yes for many years. Chemotherapy was ordered hours ago. Salvage chemo. A cursed name That hasn’t yet arrived. I have nothing left to give. At 3 AM
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233 3 “I won’t plant vegetables this year,” I told my two sons this winter. I said it often to convince myself. I’ve grown vegetables since 1970, but the weeds were more persistent than I was last
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197 In 1974, David greeted his newborn brother with joy and a dripping nose. I decided their first meeting was more important than the risk of a snot-filled infant. My husband Vic took photos as I put
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187 “Is this easier or harder?” my audiologist asks. “Raise your hand when you hear a beep. Do you prefer program 1 or program 4? You made great progress in a week, so keep going.” It feels
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136 4 The day before cochlear implant surgery, I lifted weights and took a long brisk walk. Five weeks later, I feel a flickering flame of vitality, fragile and easily snuffed out by stress or restless sleep.
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113 Anxious memories broke into consciousness when I was almost three. They stuck like glue. The article “Memories of Trauma Are Unique because of How Brains and Bodies Respond to Threat” by Jack Debieck explains how the
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