Grief is a sacred journey

Bereavement and End of Life

The Dance of Love: 1966-2008

88 I loved his body in tight black motorcycle leathers. I loved his keen mind and tender heart. He smelled like All-Spice deodorant mixed with an acrid trace of two-cycle motorcycle oil. He broiled steak and baked

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Honoring A Family Death with Personal Ritual

127 The funeral home owner called me after my mother-in-law’s death on Thursday. I’d prearranged for him to pick up her body and deliver it to the crematorium since this was her wish, but I had to

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When Death Is A Gentle Gift

135 1 “Her breath is changing,” a nurse said on the phone. “It’s hard to tell, but I’d come in if I were you.” When I saw my mother-in-law, still and ashen in her bed, I knew

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Stuck between a Rock & a Hard Place? This Simple Practice Helps

185 1 Did he really say those words? Did he use that cliché many times, five at least, as we sat knee to knee? “You’re between a rock and a hard place.” I’ve traveled to this hearing

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Ease Suffering for Everyone, Including Ourselves

109 1 My phone buzzes. The screen reads “restricted number.” Probably an advertiser, but it could be my mother-in-law’s Hospicare nurse, so I pick up. “Hi Elaine, it’s Ray.” Ah, the Hospicare nurse. “Virginia has an infection

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How to Create a Sacred Grief Ritual Many Years after a Loss

191 “For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.”     ~ Rainer

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When Life Has A Plan: Intuition, Synchronicity, & Love

141 In Honor of Our 50th Anniversary May 18, 1968 – 2018 By the time I was twenty, I was used to my mother living in a different country every year, knew what classes to take at

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Mothering Our Abandoned Longing

159 1 “Do you ask her how she is?” my therapist asked. “Not unless she acts out,” I said. “I try to ignore her depression.” “How old is she?” We’ve talked about this many times, but she

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A Mother’s Lament: “I Loved Him with All My Heart”

92 My mother-in-law Virginia was present during every conversation the last few weeks. She was alert when the public health nurse evaluated her condition and approved the application for skilled nursing care. She watched her health aide

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I’m Moving Your Mother to a Nursing Home: Active Imagination during Hard Times

147 Dear Vic, I can’t take care of your mother anymore. I can’t keep giving her the precious energy I need for my own life. I have to face that she’s almost out of money to pay

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