“I need help,” I said. I was a mother pleading for her child. The deaf child in me felt isolated and abandoned. I struggled to hear friends or a phone call. Constant vertigo and a roar in my L ear gave me nausea. It was no way to live. My doctors of many years repeated […]

“Will you meditate with me?” he asks. I’d said yes for many years. Chemotherapy was ordered hours ago. Salvage chemo. A cursed name That hasn’t yet arrived. I have nothing left to give. At 3 AM that morning, my cell phone rang. He’d called from downstairs. “I can’t breathe,” he said. “Will you help me?” […]

“I won’t plant vegetables this year,” I told my two sons this winter. I said it often to convince myself. I’ve grown vegetables since 1970, but the weeds were more persistent than I was last year. The garden took more time than I wanted to give. They listened. They’d heard this before. David has a […]

In 1974, David greeted his newborn brother with joy and a dripping nose. I decided their first meeting was more important than the risk of a snot-filled infant. My husband Vic took photos as I put little Anthony in David’s arms. I wanted them to love each other even if the price was a baby […]

“Is this easier or harder?” my audiologist asks. “Raise your hand when you hear a beep. Do you prefer program 1 or program 4? You made great progress in a week, so keep going.” It feels impossible, but keep sorting. I don’t recognize that sound, but I can stay calm and learn. I wear the […]

The day before cochlear implant surgery, I lifted weights and took a long brisk walk. Five weeks later, I feel a flickering flame of vitality, fragile and easily snuffed out by stress or restless sleep. Arctic weather pushes against me, but I gently push back. Today I’ll go uphill to the National Forest to walk […]