Grief is a sacred journey

Bereavement and End of Life

When Kindness Demands a Lie

“Give my son a kiss from me,” my mother-in-law Virginia whispers. “OK, I will,” I say as I give her hand a squeeze. She wants to kiss the child who was the center of her world. There’s no use […]

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Interdependence

I should have known sorrow would flood my heart. I should have known grief would grab my belly and soak my face. I should have known I’d search the crowd for my dead husband’s smile. I should have known […]

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A Good Hurt: Choosing to Remember Those We Miss

…there comes a time when, long after loss has been well-lived…, a small melody of love always returns.”  Dreamwork with Toko-Pa  For the seventh year, I gathered candles and evergreens for a Solstice Ritual. My son, daughter-in-law, […]

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Winter Solstice: Rituals of Grief, Hope, and Laughter

In 2009, the year after my husband Vic’s death, my sons and I created a solstice ritual. In Solstice Blessings: A Family Ritual of Remembrance and Love, I wrote about that first of many rituals of love and remembrance. We were on […]

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When Forgiveness Requires Patience

“Instead of getting angry, nurture a deep caring and respect for troublemakers because by creating such trying circumstances they provide us with invaluable opportunities to practice tolerance and patience.” ― Dalai Lama “She’s amazing,” the nurse practitioner said […]

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How to Remember the Sorrow We Can’t Forget

“I don’t come to Vic’s cairn so often now,” I said to my friend. She and I had walked my favorite forest trails before taking a side trail to the stone memorial where my husband’s ashes are buried. […]

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Keeping Love Alive When Grief Goes Underground

I miss my big brother’s Sunday calls. I want to tell him Bob Dylan won the Noble Prize in Literature. My brother Jim brought Dylan records home from college when I was 14. I want to tell him Clinton […]

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Letting Go of Fear

I lie in darkness under warm blankets. Willow snoozes on her bed on the floor. It’s 4 a.m. My heart pounds as though I’m being chased. No one here except me and this demon. Each breath comes knotted and […]

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A Gift of Love Delivered Long after His Death

My TEDx talk has over 50,000 viewers. The numbers keep growing. I’m glad it continues to help people who grieve. My husband Vic and I met fifty years ago this week. My love keeps growing, too. In […]

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Is There a Time Limit on Love?

A woman told me people seem uncomfortable when she mentions her dead husband. “My husband would have loved this” or “his love still supports me.” Why does his presence in her thoughts disturb her friends? Why is it odd […]

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