Grief is a sacred journey


Snapshots: Photographs to Heal the Heart


Vic got serious about photography in 1990 after a borrowed camera malfunctioned and there were no photos of our first trip to India. In his usual style, my husband turned aggravation into action. He bought a high quality Nikon […]

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The Abandoned Table: Changing Places after a Death in the Family


We ate dinner at the antique oak table. Vic’s stepfather had given it to us when we bought our home in 1972. We each had our place—me closest to the kitchen, David to my left, Anthony across the table, and my […]

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Learning to Forgive

Virginia with her grandsons 2013

Where is my Victor?” my mother-in-law asks. “He died, Virginia,” I tell her quietly. Her face scrunches into a grimace. She throws her head back to the right as if to shake something off.  An insect? A […]

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Dizzy, Deaf, and Determined: Living with Meniere’s Disease

David, Liz, me, Anthony, and LilBit

“I have to lie down right now,” I tell my daughter-in-law Liz as I stretch out on the floor near the wood stove. Who is this woman who has to lie down in the middle of making dinner? […]

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Please Leave Love Notes When You Die

Vic & Elaine 1996

A small group sat around a table in the Watkins Glen Public Library. They’d come to hear me read from Leaning into Love. I told stories and read for forty minutes and then turned it over to anyone who […]

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An Uncommon Caregiver: Florence Nightingale’s Feathered Nursing Assistant

Little Owl morguefile-001

I’m honored to introduce you to Ann Marie Ackermann. A mutual friend introduced me to Ann Marie because of our interest in owls as well as books. I told Ann Marie I’d had two powerful encounters with owls. She said she knew a wonderful story about […]

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The Comfort of Small Things


Chickadees throw back their heads to praise the dawn. Bring us morning. Bring the light. They bring me faith in exchange for seeds. Mexican music blasts over the driving range loudspeakers. A tiny brown and white pup nibbles my pudgy five-year-old fingers. Hello, new […]

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An Unexpected Gift

At home 1998

He was lucky to get a teaching job when few were available in 1973. I was lucky to have his financial and emotional support. We were both lucky because we were in love. I was also pissed […]

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When Dreams Tell Our Future

Still strong during earlier cancer treatment

“I had a dream last night,” Vic said in a thin raspy voice. “Really?” I said. Although he’d experienced a lifetime of vibrant dreams, he’d had few during recent months fueled by prednisone, codeine, and Ambien. “Yeah. I dreamed the […]

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I Thought I Could

Tampa sunset on day before flight

My flight home from Florida was threatened by another winter storm on the east coast. How I miss my husband Vic at times like this. “It’s in the hands of nature and United Air,” he would say, “so we […]

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