Grief is a sacred journey

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Nature’s Seasons of Grief and Hope

Summer

My husband’s death left me with tears and longing, but Nature soothed me. I walked the trails of my land and felt supported during the hardest transition of my life. Like the first crocus of spring or the last Monarch butterfly […]

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A Book Launch, an Engagement, and a Pyramid

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My family enjoys extravaganzas. It was my husband Vic’s style. If you can’t celebrate in a big way, why bother? I remember my surprise birthday party staged by Vic in 1968. Friends walked down the hill toward our Cayuga […]

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Searching for Sparks: Camp Widow Toronto

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  I went to Camp Widow to meet new friends, give and receive comfort, and share peak moments. Our widowed lives can be lonely and empty compared to the lives we had with our partners. No matter how long it’s been, […]

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My Lover’s Secret

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“What did you do before you came to Cornell?” I asked. We sat on his couch, drank red wine, and listened to Buffy St. Marie on the stereo. He was sturdy and muscular with dark curls. My heart had […]

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Birthing and Dying: Do They Have Similarities?

With baby David

“I didn’t expect it to hurt so much,” I said in a little girl whine. My husband Vic sat next to the hospital bed where he’d been all night. “Oh no, here comes another one.” “Pant, E. […]

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A Light that Holds the Dark

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I stood in a small room with high ceilings. A shiny cloth covered lumps on a tall table. On a wooden bench next to me, Mommy lay on her belly, hiding her face in her arms. I watched the up […]

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Something New from Elaine

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Dear Friends, I’m taking a short blogging break to redesign my website and launch a newsletter. I’ll return to my weekly schedule on September 2 with one change. Once a month this fall, you’ll receive a newsletter […]

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Guides to the Other Shore: Women Swimmin’ for Hospicare

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As we walked downhill toward the lake, hundreds of kayaks, canoes and paddleboards bobbed in choppy water. Small balls floated near them–bathing caps and bare heads. Wet paddles sparkled as they moved toward us from across Cayuga […]

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You, too? I Thought I Was the Only One

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“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” ~C.S. Lewis When I read A Grief Observed a few months after my husband Vic’s […]

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My Irreplaceable Husband

Vic with a friend, 1996

“The damned knives are still dull,” I mutter to myself. “I need Vic to sharpen them.” Just washed organic lettuce, bright baby peppers, and cucumbers drain into the kitchen sink. I gently sweep them to the maple […]

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