Grief is a sacred journey

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The Thief: When Cancer Returned

Jim and Elaine 2014

“I’m calling from Dana Farber,” a hushed male voice said on the phone. Oh no. It’s my brother. “Why are you at Dana Farber?” I asked in a quiet measured tone. Dana Farber Cancer Institute was where he […]

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After Dallas: Facing My Shadow

image by Credo

“These aren’t marijuana plants,” the policeman said to his partner.  He bent down to inspect a second tray of tomato seedlings I was growing outside and frowned. “These aren’t marijuana plants either.” He slowly shook his head with disappointment. They searched the outside of our […]

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Demeter and Drought: When the World Turns Dry

Persephone, Triptolemos, & Demeter, Eleusis, 430-440 BCE, wikipedia

The earth moans. Do you hear it? Plants wither. Birds neglect their morning songs. I miss the scent of warm rain. Yesterday’s clouds held promises. Storms blew through with scattered thunder and a whisper of a rainbow. There wasn’t […]

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The Queen Bee and the Honey Crone

beekeeping

“In Minoan Crete, the Goddess and her Priestesses, dressed as bees, are shown dancing together on a golden seal found buried with the dead.  …the bee signified the life that comes from death…. “Bee Goddess,” Temple of […]

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Honeybees and Humans: Our Sweet Interdependence

clematis

“I don’t see honeybees in the Shirley Poppies this year,” I said to my son David last summer. “Bees usually love them.” “Now that you mention it, I don’t have honeybees in my garden either,” he said. “I see […]

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Creating Confidence in Dayworlds and Dreams

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I drove eleven hours in one day to spend a few days with my son David and his wife Liz. My hearing is too damaged to enjoy music or books on CD, so driving has become visual and cinematic, a […]

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Persephone: Finding Myself in Her Story

John William Waterhouse, Narcissus, 2012

I wore a paper crown. Thick glasses concealed crossed eyes. My head tipped away from my mother, she who pretended everything was fine. Just five, I felt cornered by a dark threat I couldn’t see or name. My parents […]

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The Half-Life of Love: Eight Years Later

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The half-life of love is forever.  ~Junot Diaz, This Is How You Lose Her Eight years after my husband’s death, I carry our love in my heart pocket. I’m used to the ache. Longing doesn’t surprise me. I don’t […]

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The Caregiver and the Hero: Who’s in the Driver’s Seat?

Vic in the stem cell transplant unit

Six weeks after my husband’s stem cell transplant in 2007, he drove our Subaru west on the New York State Thruway. A stocking cap covered his hairless head. I sat in the passenger seat. His jaw muscles popped […]

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The Problem with Preferences

By Bear Golden Retriever, Auburn, NY, USA (wikipedia)

I saw a bluebird couple yesterday. “No, NO!” I wanted to yell. “Don’t sit on that nesting box. The tree swallows live there. Try the empty box closer to the house.” They wouldn’t have listened. So, I watched through […]

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