391 October 1994 Dearest E, While walking up the stairs tonight I was forcefully struck by what a precious
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780 Let everything happen to you Beauty and terror Just keep going No feeling is final ~ Rainer Maria Rilke, “Go to the Limits of Your Longing,” The Book of Hours: Love Poems to God, 1905 (trans.
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I wake up gently, yawn, and bury my head in warm blankets. “You should get up and meditate,” an inner voice suggests, ever so sweetly. She has many ideas, most beginning with you should…. I ignore her
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I love the promise of eggs laid by songbirds in nesting boxes on my land. I should have learned by now that it’s foolish to get attached. Life is fragile and precarious, especially this cool wet spring.
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“I need help,” I said. I was a mother pleading for her child. The deaf child in me felt isolated and abandoned. I struggled to hear friends or a phone call. Constant vertigo and a roar in
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154 “Will you meditate with me?” he asks. I’d said yes for many years. Chemotherapy was ordered hours ago. Salvage chemo. A cursed name That hasn’t yet arrived. I have nothing left to give. At 3 AM
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“I won’t plant vegetables this year,” I told my two sons this winter. I said it often to convince myself. I’ve grown vegetables since 1970, but the weeds were more persistent than I was last year. The
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In 1974, David greeted his newborn brother with joy and a dripping nose. I decided their first meeting was more important than the risk of a snot-filled infant. My husband Vic took photos as I put little
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199 “Is this easier or harder?” my audiologist asks. “Raise your hand when you hear a beep. Do you prefer program 1 or program 4? You made great progress in a week, so keep going.” It feels
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The day before cochlear implant surgery, I lifted weights and took a long brisk walk. Five weeks later, I feel a flickering flame of vitality, fragile and easily snuffed out by stress or restless sleep. Arctic weather
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