I saw a bluebird couple yesterday. “No, NO!” I wanted to yell. “Don’t sit on that nesting box. The tree swallows live there. Try the empty box closer to the house.” They wouldn’t have listened. So, I watched through my binoculars and waited. My belly tightened. My jaw clenched. Zoom from above… The tree swallow dive-bombed the […]

1. Death makes us value life The death of someone I love reminds me of my own impermanence. The loss of their familiar presence makes me consider what matters most to me. In my twenties, I read The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castenada. Young, in love, with a long life ahead of me, I took in the idea that death […]

After nearly three years of cancer therapy, my brother’s body was exhausted. There were no more options. Jim was dying. The previous week, I spent four days with him in his hospital room. We were often alone then. When he closed his eyes, I meditated. When he opened his eyes, we shared memories and hopes. Jim said […]

My brother Jim seemed steady and a little stronger last week. There was talk of releasing him from the hospital to rehab, so I drove seven hours home to deal with what I’d left behind. I needed to take my mother-in-law Virginia to the doctor. The day before I left to be with Jim, she was […]

My brother’s cell phone sings its song. He slowly picks it up from the tray table and leans back into white pillows with closed eyes. He seemed close to death a few days ago, although he’s stable now within a network of IV lines and medication. He’s tired after years of cancer therapy, but isn’t ready to […]

After I’d known him almost a year, Vic took me to Connecticut to meet his mother Virginia. I was a love-soaked girl of twenty-two. “She can be rough,” Vic warned me. “She has a temper.” “It will be fine,” I said. I came from a family where no one yelled. I knew how to get along with […]