Brad and Catherine Tidd with their daughter
“Why? Why…Why did this happen?” Catherine Tidd yelled at a pastor she barely knew. “We did everything right. I don’t know a better person than Brad. Why did this happen? What am I going to do? How am I going to live? Why would God do this to us? You have to tell me! Why?”
There was no answer.
Catherine continues: “For the first time, I really started to digest how I was not in control of anything in life. None of us are…none of us are running the show here…And even if I got an answer, it wouldn’t stop what I was about to feel. He would still be gone.”
Confessions of a Mediocre Widow: Or, How I lost My Husband and My Sanity takes us through Catherine’s catastrophic loss and leaves us with belief in our ability to survive, make it through the worst, and keep a sense of humor. This is a riveting story for young widows or anyone who has lost a spouse or must survive disaster. That’s all of us. With honesty, spunk, and perseverance, Catherine stayed upright, experimented, and made a new life despite her longing for what was gone. It wasn’t long before she turned her tragedy into a chance to help others by creating the Widdhahood.com.
Brad Tidd playing house
Catherine was 31 when her husband Brad died in a motorcycle accident—half the age I was when my husband died. Brad Tidd was young, vital, loving, and suddenly gone. Their marriage was just over a decade old when she faced widowhood. With three pre-school children, paralysis and withdrawal were not an option. Instead, Catherine had diapers, funeral arrangements, and kids who couldn’t figure out why Daddy was gone. Her need for help from parents and friends clashed with a need to figure life out on her own. What to do with ashes? What to tell the kids? What to say to people who said stupid things? What to do with her life?
Catherine Tidd forgave herself for not knowing what to do in every crisis, let chaos and grief in, and somehow kept her humor. We cheer for her as she finds balance in her demolished world. As with Tidd’s blogs, her book made me smile and laugh at the strange world of my own widowed life. Catherine is known for her wit, but I felt closest to her when she became serious and reflective.
Brad with two of their kids
“The people who have experienced losing a lifelong partner and who have successfully come out the other side…well, they’re carrying a secret. They have the miraculous ability to pay attention to their journey. And appreciate it. They watch for signs, for meaning…and then they act on it, knowing that life is short and that they alone have a special path, one that no one else has taken. They cry when they need to. They feel everything and welcome it into their lives rather than fighting it. And once that self-awareness happens, so does a certain inner peace.”
“These moments of clarity are…counterbalanced by self-doubt. No one can possibly navigate life successfully without sometimes questioning why they are where they are and if what they’re doing is right…and that’s true for anyone, widowed or not. It’s that questioning, that quest for insight into ourselves and where our lives are going, that keeps us growing.”
I predict you’ll love Catherine Tidd and her five star book.
***
What keeps you moving and growing when life throws you to the ground?
Catherine Tidd is a widow, mother, and the founder of theWiddahood.com. She is a contributing author to several anthologies focusing on grief and renewal and a writer for The Denver Post’s Mile High Mamas.
I suspect Catherine’s book will call out to other young widows who feel so alone in their grief. Good author choice, Elaine!
The cover is very appealing, evocative too.
Marian, I imagined that Catherine’s book would only be for young widows or military widows, but then I found many treasures and attitudes helpful for any widow or anyone who struggles with loss. It was an honor to read her candid book about the world of sudden loss. Thanks for taking the time to comment, Marian. I appreciate it so much.
I DO love Catherine Tidd (aka Widow Chick) and I cannot wait to read her book! Thank you for this terrific review, Elaine, which I’m sharing far and wide! ♥
Thank you, Marty. Since I was 62 and Catherine was 31 when our husbands died, since her loss was sudden and mine after a two year illness, because I had adult children and she had babes in diapers, I imagine I would love the book so much. But in my bereavement groups, there are widows from their 40s to their 80s, sometimes it’s been 5 years and sometimes a few months, but despite all the differences, we have this common bond and shared experience. So, I should have known. Both Catherine and I are grateful for your shares. There you go, being the Generosity Queen again. You’re an inspiration.
With love,
Elaine
Beautiful article. I applaud Catherine’s courage and strength to share and be able to write about her loss. Great share Elaine.
Thanks, Debby. Just as in my bereavement groups, there were so many similarities even though I’m twice Catherine’s age and didn’t have young children. Somehow, as you know, we understand people who have gone through a similar loss. Thanks for reading and commenting.
So many book tasks, permissions, cover, endorsements, and other details. It seems impossible to get it all together, but you proved it isn’t. Stay warm as the cold strengthens here and probably there, too. Elaine
Elaine,
Thanks for introducing me to Catherine Tidd’s story. I loved looking at the photos of Brad with the kids. Her book cover is so striking, along with the title. I hope others find hope and healing – and humor – in her story.
Kathleen
Thanks Kathleen. I just sent you a FB message asking if you know how I might get this review to young military widows. I immediately thought of those devastated young women–sudden loss, young children–when I read the book. I also found a lot in the book for myself–a widow twice Catherine’s age.
Sending you cardinal and dog blessings,
Elaine
I pre-ordered her book, but have not read it yet. I have been following Catherine’s blog for awhile and enjoy her humor. Loved this post, Elaine.
Patti
Thanks, Patti. I think Catherine’s book will do well and is for more than widows. That woman has spunk and fire–like you, like me.
Keeping warm in bitter cold weather for here. Makes a woman want to stay home and load the wood stove.
I am on the last chapter of Catherine’s book. Her story is woven together with raw honesty, humor, and arcane insight that allows the reader diary-like access to a world knocked off its axis and orbit; a world that eventually finds its orbit again despite the ensuing meteor showers and nebulae. Confessions of a Mediocre Widow is a no-holds-barred narrative of an intensely personal journey of a remarkable woman. You will cry, you will laugh, you will sneak off to bed earlier than usual, book in hand, to see what happens next.
Great comments, Carolyn. I hope they were posted on Amazon and Catherine has seen them. I loved the wisdom she found in the end and her honesty about grappling in the dark to find her way. Thanks for reading my review and sending your comments. I’ll soon post my review at Amazon.
Thank you, Elaine. I will post on Amazon.
Good idea, Carolyn. Great for Catherine’s book. You just encouraged me to post a shortened review with a link to my blog. So, thanks. She’s building up those 5 star reviews. They matter.
I was fortunate to have met and spend time with Catherine at a widows’ retreat I took my mom to a few years back. She is as wonderful, fun and lovely as she comes across in prose (and contrary to popular belief, I did not see her tip one wine box).
Thanks for your comment, Carolyn. I’ve not met Catherine, but found her to be all those things in her writing. It’s wonderful how she can turn the saddest moments into laughter. You just confirmed my positive impressions.