Tell Us a Story about Love
Will I always remember your laughter?
Will I remember the dancing?
Will you visit in dreams?
We met in a motorcycle shop.
I was in love, but you were afraid.
We grilled sandwiches,
Drank wine, and smoked Mexican pot.
Your resistance vanished like smoke in the wind.
I was 22 and you were 26.
…Death felt far away.
Dedicated to Vic Mansfield (1941-2008)
***
Do you have love stories to tell? I’ve told so many, but I’d like to hear yours if you’ll share a few. In time, life taught me how love and sorrow travel together.
I wrote Leaning into Love: A Spiritual Journey About Grief about the joy and sorrow of our time together. You might also enjoy Love Notes: The Magic That Made Our Marriage Work.
Lin Gregory
You and Vic had one of those beautiful relationships that was meant to be – with love it is inevitable that sorrow will be there at some point in our lives, but I know I would not give up on love to avoid the pain of parting. Debbie and I first met face to face at a country pub and I knew even then that she was the one, a twin flame…I feel blessed to have received so much love over the twenty years we have been together and can only hope that we have another twenty to create many more memories together.
Elaine Mansfield
What a beautiful love story, Lin. I’m so glad you and Debbie found each other in a pub (and now I feel better about that motorcycle shop). I’m glad you knew “you are the one.” It amazes me how much the scent of Vic lingers in my life, how much he comes up in conversation with old friends and my sons, and that he’s still a supportive presence in my dreams and decision making. I learned so much in my time with Vic, including how to have a disagreement without giving a mortal wound. I’m glad to share good fortune with you. Blessings to you and Debbie for many more years of continuing love.
Jean Raffa
I’m very struck by the kind of relationship you and Vic had. How truly fortunate you were to find that kind of love together. Yes, the price was devastating, but infinitely worth it. You’ve transformed your suffering into beautiful gifts of love—like this post, and like your nurturing of the monarchs—that are of great benefit to the world. Thank you. Blessings, Jeanie
Elaine Mansfield
Thank you, Jeanie. As you know, I never felt the price of grief was too high for love. I would have loved to spend these last years with Vic and he was cheerful and supportive about my hearing loss which was becoming an issue even before he died. Life had its own plans.
Sixteen Monarchs have flown from my nursery and there may be another 15 to 20 in chrysalis, but Monarchs and all insects are in trouble in our world. I’m grateful for the ones I see overhead or in the Zinnias planted just for them. The migration is on the way. I hope you’ve had a wonderful summer in the mountains. (I just walked out to my back porch and found another female eclosed since breakfast. She’ll leave home this afternoon if the weather isn’t too stormy. Each Monarch is a treasure.) Love, Elaine
Gron
Beyond pain misery and grief – there is Love ❤️ Beyond the mind there is the heart ❤️ Beyond the ego there is Love ❤️ Take care
Elaine Mansfield
I agree. As humans, many of us experience all of it to touch the Beyond. With gratitude for love and the heart.
Deborah Gregory
Dear Elaine,
To be sure! Love and sorrow not only walk together, but do so side-by-side, hand-in-hand. And so it is with you, my dear friend, at this special moment in time, as you recollect your long years of living and loving together. Your love for Vic and his for you, is so clear to see in the photos and lines you include here … where your pen dusts off the memories of laughter and dancing together, as the motorcycle shop of your soul roars into life!
As you know, I’ve shared many love poems in my poetry collections, and this summer I’ve written new ones for my upcoming book, “Croneology” which I’m hoping will make it past the editing stage. “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” written over twenty years ago is a long-time favourite poem of mine from my first collection where initially, like Vic, I too felt afraid of falling in love, yet (wisely!) surrendered to Lin’s beauty, passion and love.
Love and light,
Deborah
Elaine Mansfield
The song “I Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” was written about the same time I met Vic. It’s a great lyric for a love song or a poem. Being cautious about making a lifetime commitment shows another kind of wisdom, if you ask me. Marriage is a big deal and it’s not all roses and sunshine. As Marian Woodman told me a few times, “You were so fortunate.” Meeting a guy in a motorcycle shop is a set-up for a romance with the “demon-love,” but fortunately it didn’t go that way.
I’ve been dreaming of Vic and remembering early adventures and feelings. Without him, there’s less travel, fewer surprises, and less laughter and socializing. I miss all those, but life is good and the Monarchs are blooming even if there aren’t many this year. I hope you and Lin have had a great summer with wonderful bicycle trips and lots of time for creativity.
Sending you love across the great sea.
Deborah Gregory
Oh, I like what you say Elaine about how ‘being cautious shows another kind of wisdom’, that feels like Truth to me. Thank you for sharing this pearl, it helps me understand my initial fear a little bit more. How wonderful it is that you still dreaming of Vic, I can’t imagine how amazing that would be. Although I remember feeling thrilled the first time my mother turned up in a dream (dressed as a little Spanish lady) several months after her death. Yes, thank you, we’ve been enjoying a glorious summer here, I’ve been writing most days in the garden, and enjoying our bicycle rides and walks along the coastline. We’re back to work next Wednesday which will be bit of a shock, especially when the alarm goes off! Sending much love and light across the oceans and oak tops between us, your poet friend, Deborah.
Elaine Mansfield
In dreams, Vic is very much like his old self. Not too young and not too old and not sick in recent dreams. Just Vic’s sweet strength and support. I’m glad you’re writing. At the moment, I’m sorting through old pieces stacked on my desk and seeing what I can salvage. Many were written when I was sick and illness scrambled my sense of order, so I have to make order before I can move on. Sending love and gratitude as the days grow shorter and the last Monarchs nibble tender milkweek and make a chrysalis.
Aladin Fazel
It is a beautiful reminiscence of the loveliest moments in your life, my dear Elaine. I can see the deep love and profound relationship in your faces and laughs. Thank you for sharing these verses with us.
Elaine Mansfield
I’m fortunate to have had such love with a man who loved me with the same intensity. I’m grateful I had that experience in my life. This piece was an ode to love.
Marian Beaman
We guys look absolutely jubilant in the photo, especially you, Elaine. And I wonder what you were doing in a motorcycle shop. Did you own a motorcycle too? (I may have forgotten details from your previous writing.) You know very well my love story. I blogged about it and later wrote a memoir. “How we Met” is the title of a story I wrote back in 2013 when I began blogging” https://marianbeaman.com/2013/03/19/how-we-met-carebear-cliff/ Vic’s visage lives in in your sons’ faces. And it’s true: Love and Sorrow do travel together.
Elaine Mansfield
I remember. Cliff wasn’t a plain guy and he was fun–and he drew you an adorable elephant. Yes, both my sons look a lot like Vic and have different qualities that remind me of him. I’m grateful for both of them, and grateful they didn’t choose to ride motorcycles.