Grief is a sacred journey

Bereavement and End of Life

A Good Hurt: Choosing to Remember Those We Miss

98 6 2 …there comes a time when, long after loss has been well-lived…, a small melody of love always returns.”  Dreamwork with Toko-Pa  For the seventh year, I gathered candles and evergreens for a Solstice Ritual.

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Winter Solstice: Rituals of Grief, Hope, and Laughter

174 4 In 2009, the year after my husband Vic’s death, my sons and I created a solstice ritual. In Solstice Blessings: A Family Ritual of Remembrance and Love, I wrote about that first of many rituals of love and remembrance. We

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When Forgiveness Requires Patience

232 54 19 “Instead of getting angry, nurture a deep caring and respect for troublemakers because by creating such trying circumstances they provide us with invaluable opportunities to practice tolerance and patience.” ― Dalai Lama “She’s amazing,” the

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How to Remember the Sorrow We Can’t Forget

246 14 4 “I don’t come to Vic’s cairn so often now,” I said to my friend. She and I had walked my favorite forest trails before taking a side trail to the stone memorial where my husband’s

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Keeping Love Alive When Grief Goes Underground

150 4 1 I miss my big brother’s Sunday calls. I want to tell him Bob Dylan won the Noble Prize in Literature. My brother Jim brought Dylan records home from college when I was 14. I want to

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Letting Go of Fear

129 102 2 I lie in darkness under warm blankets. Willow snoozes on her bed on the floor. It’s 4 a.m. My heart pounds as though I’m being chased. No one here except me and this demon.

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A Gift of Love Delivered Long after His Death

235 16 My TEDx talk has over 50,000 viewers. The numbers keep growing. I’m glad it continues to help people who grieve. My husband Vic and I met fifty years ago this week. My love keeps growing,

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Is There a Time Limit on Love?

350 96 A woman told me people seem uncomfortable when she mentions her dead husband. “My husband would have loved this” or “his love still supports me.” Why does his presence in her thoughts disturb her friends? Why is

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Regret: It’s Too Late Now, or Is It?

169 118 I sobbed myself to sleep the night after my brother Jim’s memorial service. The huge gathering went smoothly, including my reading, but something gnawed inside. In the middle of the night, I woke up with a

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The Thief: When Cancer Returns

185 1 “I’m calling from Dana Farber,” a hushed male voice said on the phone. Oh no. It’s my brother. “Why are you at Dana Farber?” I asked in a quiet measured tone. Dana Farber Cancer Institute was

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