“Who do you want to see more than anyone?” my husband Vic asked in an excited voice. It was unusual for him to call from his office in the middle of a work day. “I don’t know,”
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It was easy to feel gratitude for our close marriage when my husband Vic was alive. Whether we were in a chemotherapy treatment room, in the stem cell transplant unit, or struggling with illness at home, we
Read more →We faced off in the upstairs bedroom, sitting on a mattress on the floor in our rented house on Cayuga Lake. We’d been married less than a year. The afternoon light was low and the bedroom window
Read more →In 1994, my husband Vic received another rejection letter for his book Synchronicity, Science, and Soulmaking. He added the latest rebuff to a small stack of rejections sitting under the feet of a jade elephant statue on
Read more →My mom gives me $100 to cover my wedding expenses. I make a lacy yellow mini-dress and pull my straight hair back with a yellow ribbon. We choose a silver wedding ring that says in Hebrew, “He
Read more →I met Robin Botie in the oncology ward kitchen at Strong Hospital in Rochester in 2008. We leaned our weary bodies against Formica counters and whispered our sad tales while warming food in the microwave for the
Read more →On a September afternoon in 1966, when I was a 21 year old student at Cornell, I met an older man—he was 25—in a motorcycle shop in Ithaca. His muscular body arched over the skeleton of an
Read more →Being alone was all right, as long as nobody came and left again. — Das Blauekleid (The Blue Dress) by Doris Doerrie, translated by Ellen Schmidt At 1:00 am, I look out my bedroom window and see
Read more →When will the house need a roof? When does the septic tank need pumping? How do I hook up the generator when the power goes out? How many cords of firewood do we burn each winter? Do
Read more →I lean into Vic, tucking my shoulder under his arm. Feeling me tremble, he unzips his jacket and wraps it around both of us. I’d rather be in bed, pressed against his naked body, but instead I’m
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