Lighting one candle from another – Winter night. ~Yosa Buson When I was a kid, no one helped me face catastrophe or loss. In the 1950s, everyone I knew feared a nuclear attack. Teachers told us to hide under our desks, probably the same advice kids get now. While the world went nuts with war and McCarthyism, my dad […]

“Vic was a skilled and entertaining teacher,” I say to my dream therapist after watching a video of my deceased husband giving a talk. She smiles her “I see something” smile. “So what are you?” she asks. My mind goes blank. What am I other than a little lost? “I’m a woman on my own,” […]

“I watched Vic talking on YouTube earlier today,” Deborah Gregory, poet and Jungian writer at The Liberated Sheep, wrote in a blog comment a few days after the Paris attacks. “It is the first time I have met him since reading your wonderful book, Leaning into Love. I love how he spoke of you right […]

Every fall, I decide it’s silly to grow vegetables. It takes too much time. It isn’t cost effective. By February, I thumb through catalogs and order organic seeds. I can’t help myself. When the sun warms the soil, I pull on gardening gloves and hoe trenches, dig holes, plant seeds, and smooth the soil. Gardening connects me to the cycles […]

I arrive at the Unitarian Fellowship in Big Flats, NY a little early on Sunday morning. I need spaciousness and inner quiet to set up and lead a Ritual of Remembrance for this community. This is my second visit as their guest service leader. Inside, a few people unstack chairs and mingle as I set […]

“Embrace your grief. For there, your soul will grow.” Carl Jung Yesterday my husband’s mom looked up at me with her nearly blind milky brown eyes and asked, “Is Vic dead?” “Yes,” I said quietly. “He died seven years ago.” If I lie, she remembers, so I tell the truth. Her face crumpled. She waved me aside […]