Grief is a sacred journey

Spirituality

Give Thanks For This Imperfect Life

What if Vic’s cancer had been caught earlier? What if the diagnosis was a mistake? What if they’d tried a different treatment? Maybe he was sick because of foot x-rays in his childhood shoe stores or the

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Poems to Grieve By: Love, Loss, and Continuing Bonds

Don’t run away from grief, o soul, Look for the remedy inside the pain, because the rose came from the thorn and the ruby came from a stone. ~ Rumi The weight of my husband Vic’s death

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The Copper Vessel: Prayer Walk for a Gas Free Seneca

My legs ache and a blister throbs, but I don’t stop or slow down.  I focus on the copper vessel ahead of me with its beaded red cloth cover. It holds water collected four days ago at

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After the Last Bereavement Gathering

As I left the parking lot half an hour after the last meeting of Standing in Our New Lives—a four-week bereavement support group for women who have lost their spouses or partners—group participants spoke quietly outside in

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The Wounds We Carry: Help from Pema Chodron’s Tonglen Practice

“They’re all wounded,” I thought as I watched people in the grocery store or on the street, “but I can’t see their scars and they can’t see mine.” While anxiously awaiting my husband Vic’s cancer diagnosis in

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Make Love Not War: 1967

I lean into Vic, tucking my shoulder under his arm. Feeling me tremble, he unzips his jacket and wraps it around both of us. I’d rather be in bed, pressed against his naked body, but instead I’m

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Sunshine on the Wedding: June 2013

We wake up to blue skies, our weather prayers answered. Friends arrive to do the set-up postponed by yesterday’s storm. Men roll up the sides of the reception tent to air out the sandy soil and then

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Permeated by Peace: In the Dalai Lama’s Presence, 1989

A friend with connections told us to gather near a small gray door in the back of the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium before 7 a.m. After a guard turned the lock, we filed into an empty auditorium

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Gratitude and Grief: Healing Ideas from Paul Bennett’s Loving Grief

It was easy to feel gratitude for our close marriage when my husband Vic was alive. Whether we were in a chemotherapy treatment room, in the stem cell transplant unit, or struggling with illness at home, we

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Befriending Myself: Rescued by Pema Chodron

“There has to be more to life than this dark gloom,” I wrote. I was sinking under the weight of my widowed life with no sweet husband to listen to my smallest fears, to care if my

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